Goodwill to all men

We are coming to the end of what can only be described as a difficult year. I have found a card from a beloved relative which she sent to me last year and it reads… ‘2020 can’t be any more difficult than 2019’. Little did any of us know that the freedoms and privileges, which include popping over to friends and relatives homes would be, at some point, forbidden to us. The separation that we have, as human beings who are designed to socialise, been isolating for us and the consequence has been an increase in the numbers who suffer from anxiety and depression, and increase in domestic abuse and the suicide rate. More and more of our young people feel a sense of hopelessness. Adults, with coping systems which have been developed over years of our experience of life are finding things more difficult let alone young people and children. There is no sense to what we are experiencing and the run up to Christmas, formerly full of fun and festivities, is just not the same and I have found myself thinking about, to quote a fabulous Stevie Wonder song, what Christmas means to me.

If we remove from our lives the fun and festivities which usually take place in the run up to Christmas which include meeting with friends for drinks, the office Christmas party, family get togethers and panto trips, none of which we are really able to do, what are we left with. Luckily we are able to shop (for the moment), so we can buy gifts for our loved ones to give them during the five day Christmas haitus from the new tier system. And thank goodness for that, that we are in fact able to see the people who matter to us, even if it is only three households. We may not all be able to be in one place together but we can see those of our family who live far afield and it is a great blessing. We are feeling lucky, despite having to iron out who will be with whom during that time. This is a task that we are not enjoying whatsoever in our family.

We are all looking forward to and planning our precious time with those we love. We have waited, we have been on lockdown, so that we can be together and we are feeling pretty darn good about this piece of goodwill that we have been granted and we will truly make the most of it. The thrill of this can blind us, and not just this Christmas, to the fact that others are not perhaps the receivers of as much goodwill as we are and especially this year when things have been so tough for so many people.

Extending goodwill to others is a great way to enhance our own sense of well-being. Most of us love the feeling of having given to others because we experience the warm, fuzzy feeling that it gives us. I have been out to eat only twice since the pandemic began in March and the first time I did, I was so happy to be out and about again, and having someone cook for me, that I gave them a 25% tip! I am lucky enough to be able to have done that and it felt really good. The hospitality industry has suffered such a blow this year and I want my favourite restaurants to continue into the future so that when I want to, I can go there with those who are important to me. This kind of goodwill is an excellent way of making our own Christmases even more pleasurable so ask yourself if there is anything on this list that you would like to do in order to contribute to the lives of others…

Giving the gift of food

Within your community supermarkets, in almost every one that I have visited, there are baskets in which we can donate food items to local food banks. Make a commitment to, every time you visit the supermarket to shop from now until Christmas, you place one item into the basket. By doing this you know that you will be giving an individual or a family something to eat when they would not have something without these donations. That’s a powerful action to make, make the difference between whether a person eats or not this Christmas. You could also include toiletries and festive treats.

Warm wishes and warm clothes

Have a look at your wardrobe and see if you have any unwanted warm clothing – jumpers, winter coats – or buy socks, underwear, hats and gloves to hand out to the homeless in your area or speak to your local homeless charities and see if they could distribute the things that you have collected among their clients. Remember to leave them for 72 hours in a bag before donating so that you can ensure that you are not passing anything on to those who handle or receive the items. This is even more important this Christmas when so very many more people’s circumstances have changed and we now see formerly employed people sleeping on the streets with their suitcases when they have been evicted and have nowhere to go. These are people just like you and I…

Sending gifts

With a little research as to where you can drop things off, you can usually find a local charity to take gifts for children but this year, with the virus being so virulent, it may be better to look online for children’s charities who will accept donations and then purchase gifts themselves for those children who would not normally receive a gift.

Goodwill to the planet

The environmental cost of Christmas is a dramatic one – something like 227,000 miles of wrapping paper is used every year but, fortunately, there are simple thing we can do to cut down on our waste over the festive period such as buying cards and paper which are easily recyclable. I love glitter but this is not a recyclable substance so better to give it a miss.

Random acts of kindness

Leave a surprise gift for someone you know will be alone at Christmas. Pop a package outside a neighbour’s front door. Random acts of kindness come in all shapes and sizes, even a smile to the person who serves you at the supermarket will make a difference to their day. Not just their day, but their life. You could also exchange your frivolous giving for a gift which will enhance the lives of others that you do not know – like protecting a tiger or adopting a goat or a donkey who would otherwise be maltreated

For me, Christmas means giving and receiving and the above suggestions provide examples of the goodwill that you can extend to others at this very special time of year but there is one thing you must remember, be kind and loving to yourself first. You can only give what you have and so if you are feeling happy, then you will give happiness to others so please ensure that your charity starts at home, with you.

I am taking a break over the Christmas period and so I will be back in January to reflect on where we are then and all the many ways in which we can help ourselves in 2021 after what has been a difficult and demanding year.

Remember, you are not alone!

hillybarker@gmail.com