Staying in the present

As the days pass we are coming up to the end of the additional three weeks of the lockdown and we will soon get news from the government on what the next step is for us. I was reflecting the other day on what a negative phrase ‘lockdown’ is and it’s difficult not to feel trapped when this is the way that we refer to keeping safe during this time. I hope everyone is continuing to take the best quality precautions that they can when they go out. Some of us wear gloves and others masks and others were both, others wear neither. There is no right or wrong way to do this lockdown and no right or wrong way to cope with it either. Some people I know are joining tribal dancing groups, others are learning a new language, others are becoming experts on Netflix, others are just surviving each day working full time from home amidst the chaos of a family whose entire lives have been brought back into the house and are fighting for space. Life is confusing, monotonous and the end is not yet in sight. This can make us feel a whole range of emotions which change endlessly throughout the course of an hour let alone a day or a week. My week has been characterized by feeling trapped and so the ‘lock’ in lockdown has been on my mind continuously. Fingers crossed that the numbers are low enough for some of the easing strategies to be put in place.

Fingers crossed is a sign of hopefulness. This is a very good way to be, hopeful. It suggests that there is a hint of expectation that things will improve. This is an elusive emotion for some at the moment and even the effort of coming out of lockdown can feel insurmountable at times. The effort of getting going again, pushing ourselves back into the world when we have retreated from it can also be painful. With the numbers fluctuating in other countries it is difficult to feel hopeful of what the future brings without a vaccine.

I have talked about how important it is to stay in the present and this is even more important at this time. Focus on the here and now can cement us in the present which helps our mental and emotional wellbeing. I was always impressed by the lead character in the movie, About a boy, who chunked down his days into 30 minute slots. This is a great way to approach life at this time. Half an hour of ironing, half an hour of cleaning the floor, half an hour of a great TV drama, half an hour of cooking… and soon the day is done.

The way that I have described those half an hours slots in the last paragraph was mostly to do with the practical and physical part of our lives but what about the other parts of us. I have been looking at what I can do that I have either never done or that I used to really enjoy but that I haven’t done for a very long time. These I have given myself half hour slots for but then chosen to go over the half an hour and spent hours whiling the evening away doing a collage from the three magazines that I have here at home. I spotted the local newsagent open so I may have a look at the ones that he has so that I can do a different kind of collage. So far I am wearing Bulgari watches and wearing Max Mara dresses, I don’t aspire to either of those so it’s no use as a mood board but still. I am seriously rethinking the Max Mara outfits in fact..

Being creative is a sure fire way of not only staying in the present but soothing oneself during this time is a therapeutic process. When I was doing my luxury mood board I found myself soothed by the slice of the scissors running through the page of the magazine, the satisfaction of smearing the glue across the paper and sticking it in its right position on the page I had torn from my notebook. Pressing down the image onto the paper, smoothing it with my slightly sticking hands and then picking off the glue as I listened to one of my favourite albums on YouTube.

I felt freer afterwards, a sense of myself lost within a slow and quiet task that engaged my thoughts, decision-making capabilities, my creativity and my hands. I created something lasting, something I could put up and enjoy looking at. I’ve decided to try some drawing next.

Finding freedom without the ability to do the things we have formerly taken for granted brought its own satisfaction. It may be worth a try, try and create something for yourself, something that reflects you – as well as what you have lying around in the house – and order some glue off amazon and get going. Or some clay. Just the cool of the clay on the hands has that grounding affect on us. We from the earth and even taking our shoes off and standing on some grass can help.

This week I have opted for thinking outside my usual box and looking at what may work for me on a creative level to sooth my mind and support myself at this time.

Please remember, no matter what strategy you employ to assist you in averting feelings of negativity at this time, the importance of reaching out to those who can help whether they are family or friends or professionals qualified in the field that you need help with is something that we should always make room for.

You are not alone.

hillybarker@gmail.com