Influences – what to do to protect yourself during this time?

So we are going into our second lockdown - less severe than the first and hey, we've done this before. so we know what it's all about except we now have the chance to decide how we do this. What do we want to allow for ourselves during this lockdown. Ultimately this will depend on how you spend the last one and what you felt and thought about that...

What influences do you allow into your life right now? I put it like this because it is always a choice, not just one that we make during this crazy year, but one we make every day of our lives. One of my first boyfriends used to tell me off, in the nicest possible way, for listening to love songs. He told me that I was brainwashing myself to be let down in love. He proved himself right by letting me down horribly! Although I didn’t agree with him, as I get older I understand more and more the importance of influences. They are always important but especially at the moment when we are under the influence of Covd-19 already. Life is different and we feel it every day. What do we want to layer on this foundation? After all, everything we allow into our lives has an influence on us and we cannot un-experience anything that happens in our lives. Where we can choose, we should and we must choose with our eyes wide open.

There is no doubt that it was difficult to be on lockdown and our lives were severely restricted. We didn't see our family, some of whom were a long way away, and some of us went through the most awful challenges and hardships. Our mental health is of paramount importance and this is harder for us to maintain during this time. Remember that there are things that we should try to AVOID doing…

1. Watching sad movies or any movies in which people are arguing with one another. These have a very detrimental effect on our psyches and can even encourage us to argue with one another

2. Watching the news too often. I have someone who updates me daily on the statistics and so I don’t watch the news because when I do I find that I am slightly more anxious over time, particularly about my elderly relatives. I’m talking about my parents…. If you feel you must watch the news, do it in the morning rather than last thing at night

3. Avoid friends who over dramatise everything and enjoy doing so. These people will destroy your peace of mind if you let them. If you do have a friend who is a little on the toxic side (let’s face it, we’ve all been like that in our lives by complaining to people etc) then limit the time you speak to them and do that as early in the day as well

4. If you are supporting a friend who is going through something awful, be sympathetic but don’t empathise, don’t identify with their suffering. It’s not that you don’t care but you bring yourself down by feeling others feelings plus, if you empathise too much then you can’t see how you can help them because you tap into your own vulnerability and identify with it in order to support them

5. Anything else that you can think of that relates to the above!

And now for what you should be doing

1. Enjoying yourself as much as possible. Even musing about how wonderful it will be to see our families and friends again is a health thing to focus on.

2. Getting creative is important at the moment. Stuck at home, especially those of us without gardens, we must put our time to good use. Some of my friends are painting and colouring, even if it’s just in colouring books for children. I remember that they gave me a profound feeling of relaxation when I was a child and I’m not much more than one now (even though I am over 50!)

3. Get outside. Thankfully the weather is warm and we are lucky enough to be able to go out for a walk and get some fresh air. While we do this, we should focus on what we appreciate about our world. It is such a beautiful place. Let the fresh air and nature, if you can get to a wood or a park or a beach, really boost not only your morale but your immune system too.

4. Take deep breaths (this is one of the things that is important to me) and really feel what it feels like to be a part of this beautiful world. This quietens the mind when it starts racing with negative thoughts.

5. Exercise is important – this will boost your mood (within five minutes of exercise you will feel happier). It will decrease your stress and make your day feel easier, not only physically but mentally and emotionally also

6. Rest and particularly sleep. Never underestimate how important it is to get a good night sleep. Sleep balances our mood too, balances our appetite and generally makes us less moody and responsive to the things that happen in our lives. I think more clearly when I have had a good sleep. Take a nap too.. They’re great!

7. Try to focus on the positive!

The above is a blueprint for getting through this time. We are all looking forward to easier times ahead when life will feel more normal once again.

Remember, you are not alone so reach out to those around you to talk if you need to!

hillybarker@gmail.com