How to feel good including making your hair appointment at last!

We are shopping until we drop and not just online. I have really enjoyed browsing the shops in the last week or so and I am looking forward to feeling even better about life than I already do. I am struggling a bit with the mask which makes me feel very hot but apart from that I feel like I’ve got this new way of life sorted. Now it’s time for a haircut.

We are continuing to ride high after the end of the lockdown and last week I wrote about how not to let negative thoughts creep back into our minds about Covid-19. We are all taking the necessary precautions to protect ourselves and others and as long as we are doing that then we can enjoy ourselves. I have really enjoyed a couple of family gatherings in my relatives’ gardens and this has given me more joy than I could have imagined. I will not be taking Christmas for granted ever again, I promise!

We are shopping, visiting friends and, after we have had our new hairdos, we will be going out on the town to reacquaint ourselves with our pubs, bars and restaurants. I can’t wait for someone else to cook for me! Last week I talked about how not to worry about the future even negative thoughts were creeping into our new reality and this week we are looking further at how to allow the feelings of happiness and positivity to really entrench themselves into our beings. So how can we achieve these things? This week we will focus on how not to worry about the future.

How not to worry about the future – Stay in the present and ensure that you are fully experiencing every moment by

1. Focusing on what is happening right now – for example, if is speaking to you then focus on the words that they are saying, the intonation that they are using and the meaning of what they are communicating. Don’t allow your mind to wander so that you stop listening to them.

2. Taking things very slowly. In order to focus in the here and now it is important to take things really slowly and to savour everything that you are doing. If you are looking out of the window, decide to notice five things outside the window and name them, out loud if necessary.

3. Narrating your day. This leads on from the above. If you are alone and finding it difficult to relax then narrate your day to yourself. Describe to yourself what you are doing and how you are doing it. This means that your mind is fully occupied in the present

4. Practicing mindfulness. This will make you more aware of where you are and what you are doing so that you can locate yourself in and focus on the present moment and focus your mind on the here and now. As early as possible in the day, sit somewhere quiet and decide how long you will sit for and in what position. Choose one which is comfortable for you because you will sit for some time. This can be five or ten minutes or more if you wish and some people like to kneel. Feel and listen to your breath as it goes into and out of your body. Notice when your mind has wandered and, without chastising yourself, bring your mind back to your thoughts. Remember, be kind to yourself.

5. Breathing slowly and deeply throughout the day

Using these techniques will help you to focus on the positive things about any situation that you are in. It will calm you and make you better equipped to look at things in a gentler, kinder way. This will in turn enable you to enjoy your current situation without worrying that things will go wrong.

Remember to bask in the sunshine, feel love deeply and keep focusing on the good things in your life and when you feel this, close your eyes and lock it into your body. When I first trained as a coach I remember learning about anchors. This was a technique which was used to anchor a certain feeling into your body so that when you were feeling low, you could immediately remind yourself of a good feeling by using the anchor. I used pinching my thumb between the forefinger and thumb of the opposite hand. It was a helpful tool. Now is a great time to create some anchors in our lives.

Next week we will discuss further the importance of anchors and how to really milk your happiness for all it’s got. What you focus on grows!

You are not alone.

hillybarker@gmail.com